The other day, I went out to a spot. A guy walked in to join his friend who sat quite close to where I was. As he was shaking hands with his friend and taking a seat, he started asking about a girl he had seen with him the previous day at that same place. He almost hit his knee on the glass table.

“That girl wey I see with you na your babe?” He asked. Alarmed, the friend responded, “Wetin happen”?. The tale teller smiled sheepishly, and said “answer me first” and in a way that suggested he already knew what would follow, the friend responded “No. tell me na, you know her?”. I made them see that I was listening keenly to their conversation. The tale teller, uncomfortable with my fixated stare, reduced his voice, bent over to his friend and said, “na ashawo she be”. In an obvious pretense of taking the news like a man, the friend replied, “na here I just meet her yesterday, collect number, we no get anything”. TT then concluded with “I just say make I tell you”, there was a little pause, and they changed topic.

There is a guy who is into forex trading and has a few other investments that I know. He is neat and dresses well. He had a  misunderstanding with someone who came to report to me. Next thing, the person was vibrating with “I get him tape for hand” meaning, he has dirt on the guy. He started talking about how the guy is a gigolo who sleeps with wives of politicians in Calabar and older women in other places. He even said he had proof. This is what they say when they want to make their tales believable. 

These are just two of so many similar situations. I am a regular victim, so also a lot of men and women in C’River. It is easy for people to say “Ignore, you must be talked about” and so on, but the impact of such stories on individuals with complex issues, relationships, and marriages that I am aware of is really devastating. A few maybe true but many are just dangerous assumptions provoked by envy or hatred. But, how cursed with idleness can one be, to be taking roll call of who is fucking who? 

People who propagate these things all have oozing skeletons in their cupboards which they manage to suppress by being in other people’s business. You will even see big men and women caught in this pettiness. 

Fun seekers travel from here to other States to spend money and enjoy some peace. I discovered about five “nkoroor” in Calabar where people hide to have fun just to stay out of the preying eyes of the public. Calabar is not a room and parlour as we jokingly call it, people do not just respect people’s privacy. 

-They hear you’re divorced, you become a topic

-They hear you’re getting married, they want to know to whom 

-They won’t patronize your business but are always finding loopholes in it.

-They hear you have a child, they want to know with whom 

-They hear you got a job, they want to know where so that they will start writing petitions 

-Anything bad arouses their interest 

We have to reduce the degree of negative interests we have in people’s private lives. These things may be happening everywhere, but we seriously need to address it in our own space. Environment has a huge influence on people; negatively or positively. If we talk more about business, innovative solutions to unemployment in the State, than we talk about people and sex, it will reflect on our environment.

Mind only the business that pays your bills.

Phylo Modlin ✌️✌️✌️

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